There is quite a bit of information out there about the subject of change. Something we can all agree on is that changing can be overwhelming. There are seemingly an infinite number of areas that we ‘should’ and ‘could’ change. And, it seems that other people have their own opinions about what, why and, how we should transform.
It appears that the tricky part is figuring out what your motivation is to change. For example, one could strive to change their physical appearance, their health, eating habits, sleep patterns. Or one could change their addictions, their relationships, their partner, their job, their self image…. and the list goes on and on – overwhelming, right?!
I suggest looking inwards to find out if the desire is internal or external before deciding to make any change. An example of internal would be personal growth. An example of external would be to impress others. I would also suggest seeking an unbiased perspective about the situation from a mentor, counsellor, or life coach.
We all have family and friends that we love and that love us. Unfortunately, quite often these same family members and friends knowingly or unknowingly have their own agendas about what you should be doing with your life based on how it will impact them and their perception of what is best for you.
I strongly believe that seeking perspective from a neutral observer. A trained professionals will not tell you what to do, instead they will help you look at all the options and potential outcomes of a change, which allows you to see it from all angles and thus make the best decision for yourself.
Once you have figured out if your motivation is internally or externally driven, and have gained some perspective, it is then time to determine where you are actually at in regard to the potential change. Is this a random thought, or something you have attempted to change before? Most importantly, are you ready to put the work in to make an authentic change? I suggest starting small and working towards the big changes after you have succeeded in making smaller ones.
The 5 W’s
To enact long-lasting change, you need to be ready, determined, and motivated to do so. Think of the 5 W’s (well, actually 4 W’s and an H):
Why do you want to this transition?
What is the outcome you are hoping to achieve?
Who are you changing for?
When are you going to start?
How are you going to go about changing?
The Next Step for Change
You can’t just talk about changing, you need to dig down deep and crave it, crave the result this change will create and realize that for an actual tangible change to occur, you require goal setting which is enacting a process to hold yourself accountable, while allowing yourself the ability to ‘slip up’ and be self-aware enough to continue through the process of change to upgrade your life.
The hard work is avoiding short term pleasures to enable yourself the time to set up a foundation of sustainable joy. There is going to be discomfort and struggle, why not embrace it rather than fight against yourself. You can do it, You are enough, You are worthy.
Change is a risk, fear of change is crippling, and it can be uncomfortable, but I believe at some point all of us desire to make positive changes and we just need clarity. We know that being ‘fine’ or ‘not bad’ or ‘pretty good’ is not what we desire, we know that we deserve better.
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